Belconnen 3 - Tuggeranong 2
The Belconnen Bluedevils Masters Div 1 side travelled down to Kambah last Sunday to play against a strengthened Tuggeranong Utd team in unseasonally fine football weather.
Fine weather too to take the dog for a walk and ignore The Domestic Animals Act of 2000 apparently as the Kambah 2-2 oval was littered with ‘dog droppings’. The north-western corner of the pitch was a virtual no-go-zone for both teams after a defender in the previous Over 43s competition slide tackled his way through the worst of it and immediately became a pariah. He was last seen begging for alms along Drakeford Drive. After an arm wrestle of a match the Bluedevil boys emerged victorious 3-2 and dedicated the victory to their mothers on mothers’ day.
The Tuggeranong team this year boasts players from Kambah, Burns and even a former Woden player who broke Wiggle’s thumb from last year’s Div 1 competition – all bogey teams for the Bluedevils. So it was with a great deal of trepidation the boys began the match against this super bogey team, memories of disappointing losses last season a haunting reminder not to underestimate their fighting spirit.But it was all the Bluedevils in the first half and numerous chances were created for goal scoring which unfortunately were not taken. Mark ‘Clog Jnr’ van den Heuvel could possibly have had a couple in the first 20 minutes of the game but decided instead the cold plains of Tuggeranong looked the perfect sight to open his much vaunted satellite launching business. Business was booming in those early moments of the game as others launched their own satellites before Eddy ‘The Match’ D’Amico delivered his trademark (yes, it is trademarked) corner into the penalty area where Clog Jnr van den Heuvel almost headed the ball for a stunning goal before it ricocheted to the feet of Craig ‘Cucumbers’ McConnell, perhaps the coolest player in Masters football, who slotted the ball into the back of the net for a 1-0 Bluedevil lead.
Similar to last week’s game against Canberra FC the first half saw the Bluedevil machine in fine working order with defence, midfield and attack playing and moving as one singular entity. Simon ’Smugford’ Mugford and Danny ‘West Ham’ Brosnan shored up the central defence and quickly shut down attacking raids, playing the ball out to the nimble footed Craig ‘Freckles’ Young and Jurgen ‘Doctor’ Dahl. However, on one occasion the Tuggeranong centre forward barged his way rudely through the defence and was steamrolling in to launch an exocet missile of a shot at Wiggle when out of nowhere a speeding blur bullet-trained its way across goal and without thought of self preservation cleared the ball to safety. Who was this saviour, for he certainly saved a goal? Who moved so fast across such a distance? The bullet train saviour was none other than Ian ‘Fiddy’ Reeves, who, defending the no-go-zone area caught whiff of something a pooper scooper should have dealt with an hour earlier and took off at high speed.
On the left hand side of defence Matty ‘The Bull’ Lapworth played a fine game due in large part to his new white Puma Supercat boots, purchased the previous day at a heavily discounted price from Rebel in Belconnen. The Bull was faster, his touch on the ball sure and his confidence high as he looked for overlaps from his partners in crime down the left hand side Jurgen ‘Doctor’ Dahl and Grant ‘Cube’ Hilpern.
Five minutes from half-time and the Bluedevils secured another corner kick which saw The Match D’Amico do his thing – another fine cross to the back of goal where Cucumbers McConnell calmly got up from his banana chair and without even taking his eyes off his beloved Golf Digest magazine headed the ball in for Belconnen’s second goal. Floating around the pitch all game in the banana chair Cucumbers was a study in relaxed, effortless play.
At half-time the mighty Kong Collins picked at the hair of each player in a simian grooming ritual indicating he was very pleased with the performance. Hans ‘Clog Snr’ van den Heuvel said like-wise before handing out apples and pears to the delighted team. What could possibly go wrong? The boys had played brilliantly in the first half.
Ten minutes into the second half an enormous red button marked ‘PANIC’ emerged from the centre circle and as one the Bluedevil Boys all jumped on it. The same thing had happened the previous week and team psychologist and statistician Peter ‘Dalek’ Dahl was at a loss to explain what was going on. From the sidelines the injured Alf ‘The Silky One’ Cirino sat on the edge of his seat, perhaps anticipating what was to come. Having forgotten to wash his Skins, Steve ‘Hoggy’ Holgate remained in the team kit bag unassembled and sighed at the apparent Bluedevil capitulation. The Bluedevils could not hold the ball, the panic was infectious and the Tuggeranong team played most of the half camped on the edge of the Bluedevils penalty area.
Tuggeranong would have had 15 corners in the second half and all but one were defused by the defence. On the other occasion, marking the back post, the ball came towards goal at Fiddy Reeves whereupon ball met hand and gave birth to a penalty. Wiggle has an envious penalty saving record but this time the ball was hit with conviction, low and just an inch inside the upright. It was the perfect penalty. Wiggle went the other way in any case and the score was 2-1, with Tuggeranong in the ascendant.
Not long after another Tuggeranong attacking raid ended with a stinging shot at goal that saw Wiggle instinctively diving fully stretched to deflect the ball wide for a corner. It was a classic goalkeepers save and saved a certain goal but he could not repeat the effort five minutes later, when a crowded penalty area masked his view of a similar shot, which brushed past his fingers into the back of the net. 2-2 and despair had replaced the exhilaration of the first half.
Belconnen almost had the winner when a Cucumbers McConnell switch cross landed at the feet of Michael ‘Whippet’ Hanna who found himself one on one with the Kambah keeper. Alas his efforts were foiled by the Kambah groundsmen who had delivered a bobbling pitch for the game. Defending again and Simon ‘Smugford’ Mugford produced some fine river dancing on the ball to bamboozle the Tuggeranong attack, his defenders and perhaps even himself as he defused a tricky situation Ronaldhino-style and played the ball out to safety.
With ten minutes to go Craig ‘Rusty’ Russell ran down the right wing with the ball and became the architect of the Bluedevil victory when he looked up and produced a mid-field bullet of a cross to the feet of an unmarked Doctor Dahl on the edge of the Tuggeranong box. The Doctor attempted to inject the ball into the net but the keeper rebuffed it and the ball bounced away. Clog Jnr van den Heuvel was the first to reach it and with his left foot delivered the final blow, a beautiful curling shot moving away from the keeper’s desperately outstretched hand. The ball may even have lightly kissed the keeper’s middle finger on its way to goal just to amplify the Tuggeranong pain. It was the match winner and Belconnen let out a collective sigh of relief.
The Bludevils deserved their hard fought win but the question remains – how do they lose the second half panic? A man sitting in a banana chair reading Golf Digest has the answer! Special thanks must be given to ‘Steven’ Gerado D’Ambrosio and Michael ‘Whippet’ Hanna from SL5 who helped make up the numbers on the day, filling in for the unassembled Hoggy Holgate and Nigel ‘Ranter’ Tranter, who’s mother would not let him out to play.
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